My Heart's Damaged, Damaged ♥

☆ eu left for 99days.. ☆

boy, its been the 99th day ever since eu left us.
i miss eu deeply.
time may flies..
but i just cant forget 25may08.
how are eu my dear boy?
its been awhile ever since i last dreamt of eu.
when are eu coming to have a short chat with me?
i miss eu calling out for me. i miss eu picking a fight with me.
i miss yer smile; yer laughter.
i miss eu..

boy, eu will be here for me right?
i need eu badly..
ima tired & drained out..
i have yet to do so many documentation for yer motobike.
i thought i can keep yer bike as a gift for me.
but noway i can do it.
cos, its gonna be scrapped..
it hurts when i see yer bike.
it really hurts me whenever i see yer photo.
i wanna feel eu. but i cant.
i wanna tell eu how much i lurve eu..
i wanna hear eu talk to me.
where are eu now?

pardon me for being emo again.
i just need to release my emotions bahx.
its hard to bottle up everythg.
i hope after a big cry i will be the cheerful girl once again..

ARRGH~!
my gastric is hurting me again..
i hate the pain.
recently my gastric came back to hunt me again..
think ima either to stress or due to my skipping of meals..
who to blame?
ME!!! = x

alright..
after so much ranting..
its time to stop!
its getting late..
i better catch some slp soon.
nitey peeps!

Boy , I want You back .
2:57 AM

☆ Cybershot - T300 Red ☆

YEAH~!

i finally got a new camera.

its my fave out of so many brands/models in the market.

to others it might not be that wonderful, but i just lurve camera produced by SONY.
yesh, its Sony Cybershot; T300. and its in RED!

order last sunday, and i finally got it yesterday.
bought it from courts at S$499.
(=
ima just so happy with my new camera.
soon i can start cam-whoring again.
hees.
i still remembered i used to hate RED so much.
but now, i simply lurve those hot red colour!
i wanna get myself a RED phone!
= x

nice right?
but no matter what, i wont sell away my viewty pinky. (=
alright for now..
gtg go hme soon.
will blog again later.
cya!

Boy , I want You back .
9:29 PM

☆ Stay With Me.. ☆

Stay With Me - 蔡旻佑

heard tish song several times on 933.
know how to hum the song but just dunno the name.
hence try my luck searching using "stay with me".
yeah! its the song name.
dunno why, i just like this song.
somehow or rather it says about me..

enjoy this song. (=
kinda emo today.
dunno over what also..
i just wish my dear boy can stay with me always.
i really miss him so much..
boy, eu know i do..

Boy , I want You back .
12:38 AM

☆ rain. rain. rain.. ☆

its a cool weather. (=
recently, everyday is my day! - RAIN!
nearly cant get myself up this morning.
sky was dark. weather was cool.
i had a nice sleep.
but.. gotta work! = x
anyway was half an hour late.
but lucky all my bosses wasnt around at the moment. (:

right now, actually got tons of work to be done.
but still kinda reluctant to start doing them..
i still have a thousand mailers to print & fold.
i have a list of job to be completed by next week.
ima just so tired of it..
my gastric is hurting me once again..
arrrgh~!
i wish i can have more time for sleep and rest..

gotta go now.
my boss is in..
have to start work le.

btw,
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! (:

Boy , I want You back .
10:11 AM

☆ 小哲理‏ ☆

saturday afternoon..
ima all alone in the office.
weather so freaking cold.
having some random mood right now..
and.. i failed my final theory for the third time! : (

anyway,
just wana share some stories today..

1) 【和尚与屠夫】
从前有一个和尚跟一个屠夫是好朋友。和尚天天早上要起来念经，而屠夫天天要起来杀猪。为了不耽误他们早上的工作，是他们约定早上互相叫对方起床。多年以后，和尚与屠夫相继去世了。屠夫去上天堂了，而和尚却下地狱了。
Why?
因为屠夫天天作善事，叫和尚起来念经，相反地，和尚天天叫屠夫起来杀生……

小哲理：
你做的东西是不是都是你认为对的，却不一定是对的。

____________________________________________________________________

2) 【一道终身受用的测试题】
你开着一辆车。
在一个暴风雨的晚上。
你经过一个车站。
有三个人正在焦急的等公共汽车。
一个是快要临死的老人，他需要马上去医院。
一个是医生，他曾救过你的命，你做梦都想报答他。
还有一个女人/男人，她/他是你做梦都想嫁/娶的人，也许错过就没有了。
但你的车只能在坐下一个人，你会如何选择？
我不知道这是不是一个对你性格的测试, 因为每一个回答都有他自己的原因。
老人快要死了，你首先应该先救他。
你也想让那个医生上车，因为他救过你，这是个好机会报答他。
还有就是你的梦中情人。错过了这个机会。
你可能永远不能遇到一个让你这么心动的人了。
在200个应征者中，只有一个人被雇佣了，他并没有解释他的理由，他只是说了以下的话：

'给医生车钥匙，让他带着老人去医院，而我则留下来陪我的梦中情人一起等公车!' 每个人我认识的人都认为以上的回答是最好的，但没有一个人（包括我在内）一开始就想到。

小哲理：
是否是因为我们从未想过要放弃我们手中已经拥有的优势（车钥匙）? 有时，如果我们能放弃一些我们的固执，狭隘，和一些优势的话，我们可能会得到更多。

____________________________________________________________________

3) 【皮鞋的来历】
很久很久以前，人类都还赤着双脚走路。

有一位国王到某个偏远的乡间旅行，因为路面崎岖不平，有很多碎石头，刺得他的脚又痛又麻。回到王宫后，他下了一道命令，要将国内的所有道路都铺上一层牛皮。他认为这样做，不只是为自己，还可造福他的人民，让大家走路时不再受刺痛之苦。

但即使杀尽国内所有的牛，也筹措不到足够的皮革，而所花费的金钱、动用的人力，更不知凡几。虽然根本做不到，甚至还相当愚蠢，但因为是国王的命令，大家也只能摇头叹息。

一位聪明的仆人大胆向国王提出建言：「国王啊！为什么您要劳师动众，牺牲那么多头牛，花费那么多金钱呢？您何不只用两小片牛皮包住您的脚呢？」国王听了很惊讶，但也当下领悟，于是立刻收回成命，改采这个建议。据说，这就是「皮鞋」的由来。

小哲理：
想改变世界，很难；要改变自己，则较为容易。
与其改变全世界，不如先改变自己--「将自己的双脚包起来」。
改变自己的某些观念和作法，以抵御外来的侵袭。
当自己改变后，眼中的世界自然也就跟着改变了。
如果你希望看到世界改变，那么第一个必须改变的就是自己。
「心若改变，态度就会改变；态度改变，习惯就改变；习惯改变，人生就会改变。」

Boy , I want You back .
4:11 PM

☆ drifting.. ☆

seriously, at this point of time i din know what to type.
all i did was type a few words and "backspace" it for the past minutes.
-.-"
my mind is in a total mess!
i wish i can piece my thoughts out one by one..
when can my life be much simpler?
im tired of all this complicating things that is happening right now..

work hasnt been gud.
i chose to go to auction dept.
i wana a peaceful life at work.
i dunwn anymore backstabbing and blackmouthing..
i hope september come fast.
gonna shift office by next month.
hope i will be officially belongs to auction dept by next month too.
i've learnt how to be more careful with anyone at work.
i still believe, colleagues will never be friends.
cos eu will never know when they will turn their back on eu..
thanks to that person who stab me.
"welcome to the true world!" - tish is wat i wana say to myself.
(=

离开, 难道真的是解脱?
难道, 真的要事过境迁了以后才懂?
倔强说不痛.. 假装什么伤都没有..
倔强抬起头.. 决不让眼泪往下流..

i dunno whats wrong with me.
i just wana find back the smile i used to have..

♥ I miss y0u m0st when I'm SAD. I miss y0u when I'm LONELY. But m0st of all, I miss y0u when I'm HAPPY! ♥

Boy , I want You back .
10:00 PM

☆ its been so long.. ☆

sorry for not updating for quite sometime.
din manage to get the chance to use the lappy.
work was hectic.. =x
but glad to meet up with my 5 besties last week after so many donkey months!
thanks ladies for the belated bdae pressie. (=
i lurve it! really, i do.
ima really glad and happy to meet up with eu ladies.
please meet up again. cos i always miss all of eu!!

went to visit dear boy on sunday.
the flower "bee with eu" was missing..
wonder did veron took back or its been taken away by some other peeps..
did i mention i dreamt of him on friday morning?
the dream was so real.
boy, thanks for letting me see eu in the dream.
i know eu came to my dream.
thanks for assuring me eu are doing well over there.
still, i misses eu so much.
wanna hug eu. wanna see the smile of yers. wanna hear eu scolding me. wanna have so much things to do with eu.
i really wish i had enuff time with eu in the past.
i regretted for not having spent enuff time with eu.
forgive me for not being there.
but i promise i will stay strong for the family.
please let me dream of eu often.
only from dreams i can hear eu, see eu and i can talk to eu.
(=

work hasnt been gud.
stressed!
exhausted for having myself been used by 2 departments.
please, let me be in local projects!
i dunwn myself to be so blur cos ima overloaded with works.
= x saved me from all these please!

thanks daddy for buying my fave perfume, issey miyake! (=
i lurve it so much.
lurve ya dad!

sometimes still feel so neglected by him.
i wish everythg could be better.
all i wish is the attention from eu..
i just need eu to show me some concerns.
i need someone to talk to..
but eu always seems so busy with yer own things.
i dun ask for more.
just be more gentle towards me.
my heart is alr broken after my boy is gone.
i cant afford to by hurt again.
please show me eu lurve me can?
or eu are just tired and bored of our r/s?
should we have a short break before we move on?
please tell me yer feeling, i cant read yer mind..
i wish i could understand eu better.
please..

Boy , I want You back .
11:45 PM

☆ gastric.. ): ☆

stupid gastric problem came to haunt me again.
recently got some attacks on my gastric.
hate the pain.
is not bearable, yet i got no cure for it.
yesh, eu may want to ask me to consult a doctor. but.. what they gave me is just normal gastric pills/syrup which has no effect on me.
mebe should stop myself from taking spicy/sour stuff.
but is a big NO-NO! cos i simplycant leave without my chilli and sour stuff. =X
okays.
other than whining, i think nthg much i can do le bahx..

weather so bloody hot.
yet nthg could be done to chill it down..
if home has the temperature of my office, i will lurve it man.
its so chilly cool inside my office.
(: but sometimes it can get much colder.
how i wish the weather can chill down.
if not my mood will be so hot just lyk the weather.

i wish i could understand him much more better.
i dun see the gud about him.
why?
why do i have to see the bad side of his and get so irritated by it?
am i just asking too much?
or do i just need a little more attention from him?
i dun understand myself either.
i wish things can be a little more pretty between the 2 of us.
but..
ima just so tired of giving him.
i wana to be the one taking some time.
ima really really drained out le.
i have feelings, i have my dignity too.
wont eu just respect and treat me like a LADY?
please..
ima just so fucking upset when eu shout at me.
did eu ever know how the feeling is lyk?
have eu ever wonder how hurt my heart is right now?
ima just fucking tired of everything.
just just so tired..

the strong girl everyone knows is no longer around ever since 25may08.
standing infront of everyone now is a fragile girl who is breakdown every moment.
i dun need everyone to treat me with care.
i just need "you" to be more sensitive towards me..
smile & laughter has away been taken far away from me.
trying to stay strong is a difficult task.
best friends/sisters ive called no longer remembers me.
someone with friends around is so lonely..
i wish i have tried harder to mantain all my friendships.

to myself : JIAYOU GIRL! gotta be stronger alright? i know its hard but eu still gotta carry on walking down. the road is still far ahead. i know eu can do it de! hugs*

its been 42days ever since eu left..

Boy , I want You back .
10:44 PM

☆ have eu? ☆

have eu ever think for me?
have eu ever put me in yer place?
have eu ever worry about me?
have eu?

i rush all the way back.
found noone at hme.
eu when out without telling me.
i spend 2hrs travelling back.
eu know how hurt it is mahx?
eu hurt me enough le mahx?
eu only think about youself.
eu only wants yerself to be happy.
how about me?
i did so much.
eu are always in my first place.
whatever i do, i think for eu first.

fuck! i totally hate it!
i just want eu to treat me better?
is it that difficult?
is it that hard to treat me a little better?
i dunwn anythg.
i just want someone to treat me well.
but why do eu have to hurt me over and over again?

boy, can you tell me what to do?
can eu guide me along.
jie wana give up le.
boy, i wish eu were here for me.
i miss eu..

Boy , I want You back .
8:07 PM

☆ moving into august.. ☆

its a brand new month - AUGUST!
moving towards the end of the year soon.
this month is the lunar 7th month.
hmmm.. everyone do go home early and dun stay out too late alright?
(=

din really have a great start for this month thou.
but i will try to make my everyday as happy as possible.
i hope my dear boy is doing fine.
just lyk my msn nick :
♥ I miss y0u m0st when I'm SAD. I miss y0u when I'm L0NELY. But m0st of all, I miss y0u when I'm HAPPY! ♥
yupps. i miss eu so much.
still have this kinda lost feeling whenever ima alone at home.
wonder if eu're able to cope well.
boy, lets JIAYOU together.
thou we are worlds apart.. but eu are always in my heart.
muacks <3

hmmm.
shall blog again later.
(=

Boy , I want You back .
2:52 PM